What Did He Say?!?

                                                                    graphic by Hardy-Herring

One upon a time in a forest far far away. a little chick was born. He was different from all the other chicks. While they chirped away, the little chick was silent. Not a chirp, even a single chirp ever came out from him. For this he was made fun of. Even the older roosters and hens found the little chick strange for being so quiet.

Because of this, the little chick's parents were very protective of him and always kept him close by. His mother told him he would grow up to be intelligent and special. His father told him he would grow up to be big and strong. But he still did not see how he could be intelligent as he still could not chirp a single chirp no matter how hard he tried. He also did not see how he could be big and strong as he was still the smallest chick no matter how hard he tried to grow. He was only glad that his parents loved him very much.

And so as time passed the little chick grew up to be a rooster. His father was wrong as he did not grow up to be big and strong. He was a tiny rooster. But what he lacked in size and strength,  he made up in speed and agility. The hens and roosters he grew up with never had a kind word for him. Even the little chicks now would tease him too. So his speed and agility served well to help him run and dodge the bullying he always faced. His mother was partly correct that he was an intelligent rooster, though he still could never chirp, and for that matter, not produce a single cock-a-doodle-doo. As hard as he tried, only strange gurgling sounds would come out.

Even though he was all grown up, he was still alone and spent most of his time wandering the forest alone. One morning he stumbled upon a group of hunters. This was the first time he ever saw human beings. When he was with his parents, they would never have allowed him to venture so close to hunters because more than anything, the hunters loved to catch wild chicken for dinner. But the rooster having never seen human beings before was curious and moved closer. He was extremely silent and given that he could never make a single sound, he found it rather easy. The hunters were speaking very loudly to each other. They seem to be disagreeing about something. The rooster was very interested in the hunters. and so decided to follow them around.

The hunters had just started for the day. They would venture into the forest hoping to catch something  for dinner. The rooster thought they must not be very good hunters as they went through the whole day without catching a single thing! That may be due to them shouting at each other all day long, scaring away all the animals in the forest. It was the most exciting day the rooster had had in a long time.

The next day, the same bunch of hunters returned again and went into the forest. And again the rooster followed them from behind. And again they did not catch anything on account of the raucous they were making. This happened the next day, and the day after also. The rooster so obsessed with the hunters, followed them every day.

However on the fifth day, something peculiar happened. While listening to them shouting at each other, he found the human sounds forming and bubbling in his head. And just like that, the sounds from the hunters changed to something clear. He could understand what they were saying! And boy, did he wish he did not understand. Because what they said was simply nasty and awful. Let's just say they revolved a lot around the word Fuck!

"Fuck this tree!" said one hunter tripping over a branch.

"Fuck the stupid birds!" said another because they still could not catch a single thing.

"Fuck the sun!" said the next wiping away the sweat on his face.

"Fuck you George!" said one to the other who bumped into his back.

"Fuck everything!" said the one in front.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" said the one trailing behind.

The rooster hearing all this rude nastiness decided to block it all out and stop listening. And as simple as that, the words now deflated and fizzled, and once again, all he heard was the hunters making angry noises again. The rooster was relieved of this. As the sun went down, again the hunters ended  the day with empty hands. The rooster decided to return to his brood to rest for the night.

Just as the hunters were leaving a sly fox entered the forest. He had traveled from the chicken farms but could not get any food there. Even for all his slyness, the farmers had grown wise to his ways and so he could not find any way to get in. The fox was now desperately hungry.

He went deeper and deeper into the forest and finally came across the brood of chicken. And it was just in time for dinner. Oh, how his mouth watered. He imagined the delicious chicken, some plump and juicy, others lean and tasty. All of them wonderful.

The sly fox was patient and planned his attack. He would wait till they were all asleep and roosting. Then he would jump on the lower branches and climb up the tree to pick any chicken as he pleased. So he hid until the sun went all the way down and the moon was bright in the sky.

The fox shifted from tree to tree in amazing stealth, as only a fox as sly as him could. He saw in the moonlight a low hanging branch and hopped onto it. Then the next branch. And another. Then several more until he saw three chickens roosting on a branch together. He sneaked up on them very quiet and slow. He was close now. Two more steps. And he was there. He raised a paw ready to strike...


"Fuck!" someone shouted.


The fox jumped in fright and almost fell off the tree. But he was just able to wrap himself around the branch at the very last moment. He stabled himself and looked around. He listened for footsteps and there was none. He thought he must have imagined it from being too hungry. So he approached again ready to strike. This time...

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" came from the forest.

The fox jumped again. There was not mistaking it this time. There was a hunter around! The three chicken stirred with all the commotion. They saw the the fox and started making the loudest raucous any chicken had ever made. Imagine finding a fox ready to eat you right beside where you were sleeping. The noise woke up all the other chicken and they started clucking too.

The fox in a state of panic, leaped down from the tree and made a mad dash for it. The thought to himself it wasn't worth risking his neck being strung by hunters over dinner. He ran and ran until he was all out of breath and stopped. He thought to himself then, what luck he had that even the chicken in the forest were guarded.

Back at the brood, some of the hens and roosters who were light sleepers had heard the hunter's noise and pleaded all the chicken be quiet so they would be safe from the hunter. They heard thescreaming of the hunter continue to go on.


"Fuck! Fuck!" it cried.


Then the mother hen noticed the human voice was coming from right beside her and it frightened  her terribly. She cocked her head in the direction and was ready for flight...


"Fuck!"


She saw the noise was coming from her son. She woke her son up and asked him to be quiet and stop frightening all the other chicken. He stirred from his nightmare of the nasty hunters he was following the past few days.

By then all the curious chicken had gathered around the tree of the rooster and his parents. The father explained what had happened to them. The elder hens and roosters were mad and asked the son to be banished from the brood. The rooster's parents pleaded them not to as he was their only child. Then three chickens stepped forwards and explained that if it was not for the rooster they would have all been eaten that night by the sly fox, and they were thankful for his unique gift.

So, the rooster was not banished. Even better, they all treated him with respect after that and did not tease him anymore. There was none more proud than his parents to see their son find his place in the brood. Indeed his mother was right when she told him he was unique, for although he did not cluck nor cock-a-doodle-dooed, he was all very well to say

Fuck!