Have Not Written in a While

I have not blogged in a while, seems like the norm now is a post every year. I am now living in Houston, TX. Have been here since early 2015. So what's new. I still work full-time at an oil and gas manufacturing company and am doing my PhD. on the side. I have submitted my PhD. and have been provisionally approved by the reviewers barring their comments which I have to address. The comments are reasonable, just that it takes some time to work through them and address all of them.

I am still not used to working in Houston, especially now that my new workplace is near IAH airport which is 25 miles each way. That is around 30 minutes to an hour commute each way, so about 2 hours driving to and from work every day. This has been so draining. I definitely love the work I do, it is very rewarding and it relates to my PhD. and engineering expertise. But the commute is absolutely killer.

We will be moving to a nearer location in December, so it will take 20 to 30 minutes to get to work which would definitely be great. And I definitely love the apartment location of having a park right behind it. I think it will be pretty great. Hopefully my expectation of the place is how it is when we actually move in.

We also have a baby on the way, so I am definitely very excited for that. I do not regret not having kids earlier and waiting to when we think it is right. It will be a great adventure and I look forward to raising a lovely child.

This year has definitely been a very bad one in many respects though. Things that come to mind is the election of Donald Trump, as well as Brexit. It just seems the world is getting more and more isolated and people are moving backward socially. The unrest in the Middle East and the refugee crisis there is also very worrying. When will there be peace and people can just get along. Right now, it just seems we are just drifting further and further away from this.

One of my best friends from secondary school, Sylvia, has also passed away from cancer. She leaves behind her husband and three children. This is the saddest thing for me this year. She was a beautiful person, inside and out. Always positive and optimistic and always seeing the best in people. The world really is a worst off place without her in it. I always thought I would meet her again and we could talk more, but I have always put it off. The time is not right, or I have to complete my PhD. then I will have more time. But our time is short in this world. And the world moves on whether you like to or not. And now she is gone.

I really have to finish my PhD. soon and put more effort into things that are of value to me. My wife, our soon-to-come child. Family. I would like to write more, which is what I am trying to do now. I am definitely very rusty in the writing department. Hopefully this is not another one a year deal. I would really like to write more, I hope I do...

The Time Machine

by HG Wells

This book must have been sitting in my Kindle for ages. Anyways, I got around to reading it whilst the wife was shopping. I finished this book in one day, because shopping is soooo boring and I just was hanging around the mall reading this the whole time whole wife was shopping.

Anyways, a classic. Very good read. It is a story about a nameless time traveller, who journeys into the future. A lot of interesting things happen, where humans are not humans and there are a lot of strange beings around. To me, this is a great achievement in the writing because the author still manages to capture my imagination even though this story is so old. What I mean is, with Sci-Fi sometimes as time past, it gets dated. But not this. There is a fine balance of detail on the write aspects, and vagueness in others. There are several points where the author extends the political ideas and extrapolates it into a very strange projection for the distant future though. Though a bit odd, it is still not completely weird even today to have those points of views. Anyways, I am rambling, because I'm sleepy. I enjoyed this book. I actually watched the movie with Guy Pearce in it before I read this. I liked that movie, and I am pleasantly surprised that I liked the book too, since they are not really the same story. Usually I do not like when the book and movie depart from each other. But both these work good stories.

Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage

by Haruki Murakami

Read this book because my wife introduced me to it, saying it was quite well known. Well yes, it was quite engaging and I stayed up a bit late for a few nights just to finish it. It was a really interesting read. The story was simply about a man's life from a small town then moving to Tokyo and the occurrences as he grew up, the friends he had and the life he led. It was really a simple story but well-written. I guess the last time I had this sort of feeling was when I read Knut Hamsun's stories. But I think Hamsun's was better. The ending was open-ended though. I would have liked a bit more closure. I know this is not a very good book review, I read it about a month or so ago. I should probably write these when they are fresh in my mind...

Doing Nothing All Day & Being A Potato

I absolutely did not do much today. I mean I am in Houston now and should be going out and doing stuff. But I just do not feel like moving somedays and just want to laze around and be a couch potate. And did is just what I did. Watched a football match at home, then watched a Hindi movie called the Chennai Express. It was quite cheezy and all, but it was alright. Shah Rukh Khan movies are generally alright. Then watched Breaking Bad, watched about 5 episodes. Needed to pull myself away from watch too much of it. And we also watched a tv comedy introduced by my sister Lydia called Fresh Off the Boat which is about an Asian family moving to America and starting lives here. It is quite funny and good. Many things they talk about I can relate to with Asian culture, but it doesn't make it any less cringe-worthy though. We also just started the new trial of Netflix. It's pretty good. For just 9-10 dollars, I guess you get a lot of good quality entertainment.

I know what I write here is pretty mundane. I guess my life is just pretty mundane. But writing is writing. And better writing something, than not writing at all. Even if I have no inspiration now, and my thoughts are all over the place. I feel slowly but surely I will get my writing rhythm back again, and maybe I will find my inspiration. Even if not though a natural discourse, I feel writing here is an indication of my will to get back into writing and tapping back into my creativity.

Anyways, I just downloaded a book by Haruki Murakami whomy wife said is pretty good. I will give it a read on my Kindle. The book is Underground. No idea what it is about...

Neglected Blog

I really have been neglecting my blog for a long, long time. It is true I have been really busy. A lot has happened and I feel that my life is just passing me by. In the period I have not been blogging much, I have come out to work in industry, I have gotten married, and I am still doing my PhD. Also, I just recently moved halfway across the world to a very different environment. It has definitely been a struggle settling in.

Of course it is fully justifiable that I say I am busy and have no time to write. But then again I have always said to myself, writing is my passion. I love working on my imagination and telling stories. So why make excuses rather than just write? There is no meaning to all this busi-ness if it just gets in the way of my life's one true passion. I guess one makes time to write, if it is important (and if it is your so-called passion). I have therefore decided that I should try to write more. Maybe try to write every day here now.

I know my writing might not be the best, but that is not the point. If you love something you do it. As I write this, I find it extremely ironic, that my so-called passion is something that I have already neglected for a very, very long time (in the past few years). What have I been spending my time doing? Working, working very hard to make a 'living'. But this is not living, I feel pain in my heard every day because I am so busy. And busy for what? There seems to be no reason for me feeling like this but my own actions (or inaction) for doing what I actually love. There are a lot of important things in life, and I can fill my time endlessly with such great entertainment. I just need focus, to figure out what I feel is most important and work on those. So I will write. Write more, and connect with my passions once again...There is always this little voice inside my head that says I am not good enough. But I will try not to listen, and just do what I need to do. Write. Write some more...

Paddle Your Own Canoe: One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living

by Nick Offerman

This book is an autobiographical book by Nick Offerman, the TV actor in the show Parks and Recreation. He talks about his upbringing and life to the current point, and all the ups and downs in his life. It is a very interesting story from the perspective of a sort of outsider of Hollywood, who is not one of those glitzy and glamorous actors. It is also a very interesting (and humorous) insight into an actor who was raised on a farm outside Chicago and went through the Chicago theatre ranks before moving to Hollywood and struggling before making it big. What really made this book interesting in his focus not only on acting but also pursuing his other interests in life, primarily woodworking.

I can relate to Nick with his need to creating things, in being involved in not only acting but also creating wooden furniture and things. I think there is a real joy in creating things by yourself, be it a piece of furniture, painting, sculpture etc. All in all, a good and very funny read. I would recommend this.

The Reason I Jump

by Naoki Higashida (translated by KA Yoshida & David Mitchell)

I just finished this book today. A good short read, it was written by a 13-year old autistic kid. Very insightful into the mind of an autistic person and their struggles, conditions and aspirations. One point to note was that one will never know where the austism starts and the personality ends. What I mean is what trait is due to the individual's personality, and what is due to the condition that is autism. However, I am very much able to draw a lot of similarities between how I feel and the experiences described by the author. This is either a great testament of the author's ability to connect with the reader, or simply I am perhaps exhibiting some autistic tendencies as well. Or perhaps it is simply these emotions are commonalities for all human beings and autistic individuals are simply more sensitive and atuned to their emotions. Overall, a very good read and breaks a lot of taboos on the subject of autism.

Reads Update

I have not been updating my blog because work has been hectic and PhD. has gone a bit on the wayside lately. But here's the stuff I have read lately and some notes.

1. For One More Day by Mitch Albom - This is a nice book about appreciating life and what if we had one more day to spend with our loved one when they say their final goodbye. The themes of Albom's book are pretty much all the same. Same vein if you have read any of his other work, just as good.

2. The Associate by John Grisham - Who can write better law thrillers than Grisham? Not many. Good solid story about a lawyer caught between his conscience and an industrial espionage ploy.

3. My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult – This story is about a family who have a daughter that has cancer (I think?), then the family has the idea of genetically engineering another child to be a perfect donor match for their sick child, so she could donate bone marrow and blood for the sick child to survive. This book is about their life journey, struggles, etc. The book started off well enough, but I felt the story towards the middle and especially the end was really terrible. Firstly I did not like the ending. Secondly all the subplots are very self-serving and too nicely encapsulated within themselves. Very predictable, not organic.

4. The Street Lawyer by John Grisham – Another lawyer book. This is about a lawyer who decided to trade in his high-paying corporate law job for a public interest law job for the homeless. Defending the weak and poor as it were. He decides to do this after undergoing a traumatic experience. I love Grisham books. Perhaps it is his story-telling, very straightforward and to the point.

It made me wonder how colourful and stressful lawyers’ lives are. Then I thought about my own work as an engineer. I mean both are professional jobs, but I think if there is an engineering story, it’d be like watching paint dry. If there are good engineering stories out there, I’d be all for reading those too though. I guess there would be great stories in the form of industrial espionage, the inspiration of engineering creations. Nah, there is space for nice engineering fiction, just need to find out who writes those…but for the moment, I am still very much into Grishams. So will read a few more before I move on.

Bonk

by Mary Roach
Very interesting book about sex. Sex is such a fundamental thing to humans, and to most living creatures. But there is so much taboo surrounding it, due to society's beliefs, religion etc. This also has hampered the progress made on human sex in the field of science. There is so little research done on this matter, because, well, it is awkward. Where would researchers get funding, and they get skeptical looks from their peers, as being perverts. Well, this book gathers all there is to say about the matter, about science and medicine and sheds light on the many taboo topics of sex. Like did you know, a person paralyzed can still achieve orgasm. I did not know that, so that was interesting. The book talks about mechanics of sex, and also people's reaction to matters of sex, and most interesting to me as a fellow researcher, the scientific process in sex research. Anyways, nothing too technical, easily understood by the layman, and Roach does amazingly in talking about the subject matter with such wit. Wonderful book.

Fat Sugar Salt: How the Food Giants Hooked Us

by Michael Moss

This is a very well-written book about the three tenets of the processed food industry. It describes in detail how the industry manipulates each of these components and combine them to create the most delicious things, that are actually no that good for your well-being. But hey, they are cheap and they taste awesome. That's why they sell. A very insightful, I definitely changed the way I have been eating, or at least look at the nutrition label with a new-found criticality now. Great book by this Pulitzer prize winning author.

Matilda

by Roald Dahl

I read this when I was little but have forgotten the story, so re-read it again. My dearest bought the whole set of Roald Dahl books and this is the second one I've read now I think. I read all of them in the past, but my memory being what it is today, it all feels like new books every time I read it. Anyways...

This book is about Matilda Wormwood, a little girl. She is a very smart girl though her parents cannot see that and are very ignorant and unpleasant folk. Matilda being very smart, begins to learn to read and loves reading very much. She starts going to the library on her own and reads all the nice books there is to read there. So by the time she starts school she is already way ahead of her classmates. Her intelligence not only stops there. When the teacher, Miss Honey teaches math, she finds that she can already to amazing some all by herself without even using a calculator! She is indeed very very smart. Miss Honey wishes to help her excel and to put her in a higher class. Though the headmistress Miss Truchbull disagrees and keeps her in the lower class, because she inherently hates little children. There are many twists and turns in this book, and the ending is wonderful.

Anyways, lovely book by Roald Dahl. I love all his books.

The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

by Douglas Adams


Second book in the Trilogy of Hitchiker's. This was alright still all very silly. Love it. I actually read this a while back but just have not written the review. Well, I don't write proper reviews nowadays anyways, just whether I like the book or not.

Anyways, roughly, this book continues on the adventures of Arthur and the crew and they are still being chased after. So they wanted something to eat, and went to the Restaurant at the end of the Universe. Which is temporally, it is at the end of the Universe's time, they time travel there. Still a good book, but question is why so many books in the series. I feels like just a section of a book rather than a book in itself. Anyways, still a good story.

Have just been so busy with work and research. But I care not anymore. Fuck it. I need to continue writing someplace to keep my sanity, to collect my thoughts.

Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy

by Douglas Adams

First book I have read in a while. It was great. Quirky, funny. Absolutely my kind of book. It is about a bunch of people being hitchiker's around space. And Earth being one big experiment by the things we run experiments on. Adventure, lovely adventure. Too exhausted to elaborate. Currently reading the second book in this trilogy of five, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

NO! Must Blog...On the old year

I just looked to the side bar and saw how neglected my blog is. Last year I posted a grand total of 9 posts. Less than a post a month. And on my other blog? Have not blogged since March 2012. How is this possible? Have I done much work in that time? I think I will just carry on now blogging. I thought my stopping to blog would help me finish my PhD. quicker. Not so, I am still not there. And still like very far away. I feel even less motivated to finish now, than when I stopped blogging here. I need to blog again. I need an outlet, an escape, from the daily drudgery. This is horrible.

Well let's see. First part of last year I was very busy writing up a conference paper so I could attend a conference in the US. I remember waking up at 4 am and sleeping at 10 pm for almost a week or so. I worked really hard to get that paper published. On top of that my supervisor was actually on long-service leave and my co supervisor was on holidays. So basically it was only me doing the stuff, without much guidance. I was very happy when I did finish it on time. And it was an ASME conference paper too, peer reviewed. Very strict guidelines I was told. Well, I got in in the end. I also remember by the end of that week, I did have heart palpitations for quite a few days. I was really stressed during that time, and the lack of sleep did not help either. It was that time I felt really pumped and motivated. But right after finishing that paper I hit a bad patch, and became really demotivated. PhD. is such a love-hate relationship. If you had such a relationship with another person, one would be wise to seek help from a counsellor or psychiatrist. It is like this thing that you cannot stop thinking of, no matter what you do. One just go to it over and over. I ramble...

Well, next, being very aware that I needed to seek employment soon. This was the year I needed to start to work, because my scholarship money was running out the end of the year. So I spent the next few months looking for a job. And juggling that with my usual research work load, and also tutoring at university. It was crazy. I was stressed out of my mind. Oh, plus I needed to then search for a new place to stay, because the landlady was kicking us out. I hated that landlady, such a rotten person. Very petty and calculative. Well, anyways the next few months were spent dealing with all these issues. Quite stressed out.

Then with all those things not even partially settled, I set off for the US conference. The conference was for a week in Chicago. I must say it was pretty nice, the people I met were very nice.I thought I could see more of Chicago, but my supervisor wanted me to finish this bunch of work for the presentation, which I did not really manage to do. I spent the first few days, and even the flight over to the US working on it. That was quite crap. I wished to enjoy the trip more. But then again, it wasn't a holiday, it was a business trip if you like. Lesson learnt. Don't do business trips next time. Well I mean if I must. More correctly, don't expect a holiday out of a business trip. Not going to happen.

When I got back, over the next few months, I sorted out my house, got a job. But ever the restless. Now what, starting work. PhD. Juggling the two right now. So that is where I am. And I must say not juggling very well at the moment. I need to do this better. Why can't I be like one of those people that seem to just be just oh so graceful and just glide through life? I am not saying my life is hard. It is very comfortable. But there is so much internal struggle within me. I feel like cracking at the edges with all these things to do. I really need to have more elegance in life. I need to find time to read, to write. To love life.

So here is some reflection. Would I have done anything differently in 2012? As much crap that happened, I wouldn't change anything. I am a realist. Shit happens. But I do wish that I handled things better, and be more graceful during difficult situations. That is the challenge I put to myself. Be more graceful, be more humble. I want peace in my heart. I do not want to be restless anymore. I want to be comfortable in my own skin.

Update A Bit?

I am so busy. I want to stop saying that!!! When will this end. Well, anyways. I'm still not going to start writing that much on this blog but I have read some books lately, so worth a mention.

Read Esio Trot by Roald Dahl, it was alright. Other books by Roald Dahl were actually better. Then I read Around the World in 80 Days, because my dear is going to teach it at school this year. I just thought I never read it before, so worth a read. Any I loved it, very good. Then I read Bourne Identity. It was quite good. Did not know the movie was quite different then the book, then read wiki and found that the movie was just loosely based on the book. So yeah, I sort of like the book better after reading it. But I started reading the second book. Bourne Supremacy I think it was. Don't really like the start of it, so still a bit stuck there. Finding something else nice to read....

But like I said, very stupidly paralyzed by all the work and research I need to do. I'm not saying I'm being super productive. But all I can think about is work. Even sitting in front of the IDIOT BOX and at the back of my head is work. I need to learn to switch off. Getting quite stressed out over everything...

The Adventures of Pinochio

by Carlo Collodi

I read this during my recent holidays. Oh, what a wonderful book. And who does not know the story of Pinochio. Well, actually me. Not like how it is written originally. I have seen numerous cartoons of course when I was a child. I have however never read the original version by Collodi. Of course I did not read the Italian version but the English translated one (as I know not how to read Italian yet!!!).

Anyways, this book is about a wooden puppet who dreams of being a boy. He has many adventures where his naughty ways lead him to troubles. Pinochio must learn to be a good son and student, and learn all the good values of being a good boy. Only then will he be granted to be a real, living boy. But as Pinochio is Pinochio, his mischief leads him into a lot of trying situations from which he is slow to learn. But he does learn eventually and make good on being a good son and person. With that, he is eventually turned into a living boy.

Wonderful book, wonderful pacing. Its originality makes it to this day still a wonderful read (it was written in 1883!). Beautiful, worth reading again.

With the Old Breed

at Peleliu and Okinawa

by E.B. Sledge

Been so busy, with so many things going on in my life right now. I do not wish to be swept up and wake up one day and realize I'm 50, without doing anything that I had set out in life to do. Thus to maintain some sanity, here is a book review. I read this several months ago.

This book was written by E.B. Sledge who was a marine in WWII, in the Pacific campaign. I only found out about this book after watching the HBO series called The Pacific. It tells the WWII Pacific campaign through the experiences of mainly 2 individuals. This book is one 1 of the 2 individuals (Sledge), the other being Robert Leckie. This is a great book that looks at the campaign through the experiences of ground troops, rather than high level strategy. It tells war in more human terms, rather than intellectual terms. It tells of the bravery and endurance of these men, and also the horrors and hardship they have to face. People would be well-served to read books like this to understand that we should not go into war on a whim. It describes well what the military personnel go through, as well as how people are affected in the cross-hairs of war. It is definitely a classic, and very well-written with no biased language, but still maintains a strong emotional connection with the reader.

Hiatus

I have been really busy during the university semester with teaching commitments and also my own research work. That is why my blog has not been much tended to. Further updates here until the end of the year will be quite sparse as I endeavour to finish all my research work by year's end. Need to get this PhD. done and move on with my life. This is taking way too long.

On Love

by Alain de Botton

Geez, I have been so busy. Been so hectic. I actually finished reading this book a month or more ago and have not even had the time to blog about it. So many things on my plate. Things are just slowly starting to clear up right now.

Well anyways, here's a brief review. This book was recommended by LX01 and it's a wonderful book about love, from when one starts having a crush on someone, to different stages of a relationship and if things don't work well, then the breakup. This is from a male perspective though of what love is. I do not mean this to be a chauvinistic story, but it is from a masculine point of view.

This book is also infused quite a bit with elements of philosophy to rationalise the thought processes within love and how to make sense of it (or derive meaning from the lack of logic of love). It articulates very well a lot of points that I have always thought about love.

There are however some points that I do not agree with, but I believe because love is such a personal thing. And each couple would develop their own rationales and norms, it is really no place for me to comment whether something is 'right' or 'wrong' in love. It is simply that between 2 people in love, they feel that they are comfortable with those truths that make it true.

I would say 1 very minor negative is that given the subject matter  and the author's background, the language can at times feel melodramatic. But then again, love has the tendency to bring out the drama queen in all of us.

Overall, I think this is a wonderful read and an instant classic. Worth re-reads. Love.

Open: An Autobiography

by Andre Agassi

The tennis fever! My second consecutive book on tennis greats. Agassi has not won as much as Nadal probably but his life is certainly more colourful. He had a tough upbringing from a very harsh tennis father. And one thing strange about Agassi is he has always maintained that he hates tennis, yet he continues to play and excel at the sport, though in tempestuous patches.

I can relate with Agassi and his temperament as much as I could relate to Nadal's. Agassi's life is full of contradiction and bursts of passion and lulls. It gives hope to us 'regular' folk when a God of Tennis like Agassi can be so contradictory about his life, what more to say us. Agassi is an a wonderful person and many can draw from his life lessons and hopefully focus on things that give their life joy and meaning, as well as success.