Doing Nothing All Day & Being A Potato

I absolutely did not do much today. I mean I am in Houston now and should be going out and doing stuff. But I just do not feel like moving somedays and just want to laze around and be a couch potate. And did is just what I did. Watched a football match at home, then watched a Hindi movie called the Chennai Express. It was quite cheezy and all, but it was alright. Shah Rukh Khan movies are generally alright. Then watched Breaking Bad, watched about 5 episodes. Needed to pull myself away from watch too much of it. And we also watched a tv comedy introduced by my sister Lydia called Fresh Off the Boat which is about an Asian family moving to America and starting lives here. It is quite funny and good. Many things they talk about I can relate to with Asian culture, but it doesn't make it any less cringe-worthy though. We also just started the new trial of Netflix. It's pretty good. For just 9-10 dollars, I guess you get a lot of good quality entertainment.

I know what I write here is pretty mundane. I guess my life is just pretty mundane. But writing is writing. And better writing something, than not writing at all. Even if I have no inspiration now, and my thoughts are all over the place. I feel slowly but surely I will get my writing rhythm back again, and maybe I will find my inspiration. Even if not though a natural discourse, I feel writing here is an indication of my will to get back into writing and tapping back into my creativity.

Anyways, I just downloaded a book by Haruki Murakami whomy wife said is pretty good. I will give it a read on my Kindle. The book is Underground. No idea what it is about...

Neglected Blog

I really have been neglecting my blog for a long, long time. It is true I have been really busy. A lot has happened and I feel that my life is just passing me by. In the period I have not been blogging much, I have come out to work in industry, I have gotten married, and I am still doing my PhD. Also, I just recently moved halfway across the world to a very different environment. It has definitely been a struggle settling in.

Of course it is fully justifiable that I say I am busy and have no time to write. But then again I have always said to myself, writing is my passion. I love working on my imagination and telling stories. So why make excuses rather than just write? There is no meaning to all this busi-ness if it just gets in the way of my life's one true passion. I guess one makes time to write, if it is important (and if it is your so-called passion). I have therefore decided that I should try to write more. Maybe try to write every day here now.

I know my writing might not be the best, but that is not the point. If you love something you do it. As I write this, I find it extremely ironic, that my so-called passion is something that I have already neglected for a very, very long time (in the past few years). What have I been spending my time doing? Working, working very hard to make a 'living'. But this is not living, I feel pain in my heard every day because I am so busy. And busy for what? There seems to be no reason for me feeling like this but my own actions (or inaction) for doing what I actually love. There are a lot of important things in life, and I can fill my time endlessly with such great entertainment. I just need focus, to figure out what I feel is most important and work on those. So I will write. Write more, and connect with my passions once again...There is always this little voice inside my head that says I am not good enough. But I will try not to listen, and just do what I need to do. Write. Write some more...

NO! Must Blog...On the old year

I just looked to the side bar and saw how neglected my blog is. Last year I posted a grand total of 9 posts. Less than a post a month. And on my other blog? Have not blogged since March 2012. How is this possible? Have I done much work in that time? I think I will just carry on now blogging. I thought my stopping to blog would help me finish my PhD. quicker. Not so, I am still not there. And still like very far away. I feel even less motivated to finish now, than when I stopped blogging here. I need to blog again. I need an outlet, an escape, from the daily drudgery. This is horrible.

Well let's see. First part of last year I was very busy writing up a conference paper so I could attend a conference in the US. I remember waking up at 4 am and sleeping at 10 pm for almost a week or so. I worked really hard to get that paper published. On top of that my supervisor was actually on long-service leave and my co supervisor was on holidays. So basically it was only me doing the stuff, without much guidance. I was very happy when I did finish it on time. And it was an ASME conference paper too, peer reviewed. Very strict guidelines I was told. Well, I got in in the end. I also remember by the end of that week, I did have heart palpitations for quite a few days. I was really stressed during that time, and the lack of sleep did not help either. It was that time I felt really pumped and motivated. But right after finishing that paper I hit a bad patch, and became really demotivated. PhD. is such a love-hate relationship. If you had such a relationship with another person, one would be wise to seek help from a counsellor or psychiatrist. It is like this thing that you cannot stop thinking of, no matter what you do. One just go to it over and over. I ramble...

Well, next, being very aware that I needed to seek employment soon. This was the year I needed to start to work, because my scholarship money was running out the end of the year. So I spent the next few months looking for a job. And juggling that with my usual research work load, and also tutoring at university. It was crazy. I was stressed out of my mind. Oh, plus I needed to then search for a new place to stay, because the landlady was kicking us out. I hated that landlady, such a rotten person. Very petty and calculative. Well, anyways the next few months were spent dealing with all these issues. Quite stressed out.

Then with all those things not even partially settled, I set off for the US conference. The conference was for a week in Chicago. I must say it was pretty nice, the people I met were very nice.I thought I could see more of Chicago, but my supervisor wanted me to finish this bunch of work for the presentation, which I did not really manage to do. I spent the first few days, and even the flight over to the US working on it. That was quite crap. I wished to enjoy the trip more. But then again, it wasn't a holiday, it was a business trip if you like. Lesson learnt. Don't do business trips next time. Well I mean if I must. More correctly, don't expect a holiday out of a business trip. Not going to happen.

When I got back, over the next few months, I sorted out my house, got a job. But ever the restless. Now what, starting work. PhD. Juggling the two right now. So that is where I am. And I must say not juggling very well at the moment. I need to do this better. Why can't I be like one of those people that seem to just be just oh so graceful and just glide through life? I am not saying my life is hard. It is very comfortable. But there is so much internal struggle within me. I feel like cracking at the edges with all these things to do. I really need to have more elegance in life. I need to find time to read, to write. To love life.

So here is some reflection. Would I have done anything differently in 2012? As much crap that happened, I wouldn't change anything. I am a realist. Shit happens. But I do wish that I handled things better, and be more graceful during difficult situations. That is the challenge I put to myself. Be more graceful, be more humble. I want peace in my heart. I do not want to be restless anymore. I want to be comfortable in my own skin.

Update A Bit?

I am so busy. I want to stop saying that!!! When will this end. Well, anyways. I'm still not going to start writing that much on this blog but I have read some books lately, so worth a mention.

Read Esio Trot by Roald Dahl, it was alright. Other books by Roald Dahl were actually better. Then I read Around the World in 80 Days, because my dear is going to teach it at school this year. I just thought I never read it before, so worth a read. Any I loved it, very good. Then I read Bourne Identity. It was quite good. Did not know the movie was quite different then the book, then read wiki and found that the movie was just loosely based on the book. So yeah, I sort of like the book better after reading it. But I started reading the second book. Bourne Supremacy I think it was. Don't really like the start of it, so still a bit stuck there. Finding something else nice to read....

But like I said, very stupidly paralyzed by all the work and research I need to do. I'm not saying I'm being super productive. But all I can think about is work. Even sitting in front of the IDIOT BOX and at the back of my head is work. I need to learn to switch off. Getting quite stressed out over everything...

Hiatus

I have been really busy during the university semester with teaching commitments and also my own research work. That is why my blog has not been much tended to. Further updates here until the end of the year will be quite sparse as I endeavour to finish all my research work by year's end. Need to get this PhD. done and move on with my life. This is taking way too long.

All Written Out

There is a very good reason I have not been posting much on this blog. I have been writing about 10 posts a week on a discussion forum I've been involved with for the past few months. That's part of my studies of research commercialisation. Spending so much time checking references on my posts and articulating my thoughts properly there has left me all but drained to string 2 sentences together. I would just like to go and type 'bla bla bla bla' there sometimes. Really getting to be no fun anymore. I have to say I have learn a lot from that experience though.

Anyways, reading To Kill a Mockingbird at the moment. I get quite sad sometimes that there are so many classic that I may never find the time to read, so many books, so little time. I must really restrict myself to read good books. From reading this book, my first thoughts are that plot is not that important. As long as the emotions and characters are believable, relatable, and loveable I will be more than glad to read a story that has been told time and time again.

Also, I just watched a movie called Howl. Though the movie itself isn't very nice, the story is quite good, about Allen Ginsberg and the trial regarding the publication of Howl and Other Poems. It is a really inspiring story of a poet and his journey. It may be to artsy-fartsy for some people's taste, it was bordering on that for me. But the story pulled through. So it was half decent.

What I've Been Up To

Okay, I haven't blogged in a while. Couple of reasons; had to do a conference paper, colloquium presentation and other stuff too. Well, the final one is I've been sick for the past week (how can it be so long to be sick?). Anyways, I am getting better now (hopefully).

I have not read much either I must say, been dispirited somewhat. No idea why. Have not written much either, have gotten rejection from AHWA for the competition though. Well, dispiriting times. Anyways, I think I will be getting my groove back soon.

Anyways, I have been back playing the piano again. Getting reacquainted with Erik Satie's Gymnopedie No. 1 and also the Flight of the Bumblebee. Anyways that's beside the point, I will get back to reading soon. Feel I have gotten out of this rough patch rather unscathed. Ready to forge onwards soon enough. Second half of the year, let's get it done.

Year's Resolution In Review: 2010 Edition

Ok, so it's closing in on the end of 2010 and here I would like to reflect on how my reading and writing have gone this year. I look back at what these were in my past posts Resolution 2010 and Mid Year Resolution. Well, I reckon I've read about 30 books at least this year. I guess that's pretty alright.

And I have also written a bunch of short stories and poems. Two good things happening was having my poem Shapes being published in a Drop of Ink which is not really anything because that's a web publication and they published all submissions anyways. Also, the website now seems pretty much dead. Secondly I got my short story Peculiarity published on Receipt Stories which was encouraging.

But I wasn't able to complete the book-length story I was working on. Just thinking of this year makes me wonder where reading and writing is in my list of priorities. I should probably stop watching so much mindless television and read and write more. But it is strenuous to the brain to have to think of things to write after working, and I just feel so tired most days to muster up the energy to do it. Moreover, approaching December when I had my research conference, I absolutely did not write anything at all. It must be months since I last wrote something. I must reignite my flame for it, I feel very dead inside from not expressing anything creatively for too long. Feels like my soul is rotting.

All I can say about the new year is that I will try my best to write more stories and poetry. I will only publish flash fiction on this site from now on, and keep the short stories and longer stories for actual publication. The flash fiction and poems can act as catalyst to the longer stories. I hope next year is good, because this year I do not feel I have done sufficient at all in the upkeep of this website and in my reading and writing in general. Hope everything works out in the coming year. 2011, I shall enter it with some apprehension.

Easter 4

4. Easter Monday

The last of Easter. Geez. Went for bushwalk at John Forrest National Park. Went for the eagle walk which was the longest one there, 15 km. So here we go. We did counterclockwise walk. At first, being the great explorers ourselves we went on ahead, head held high, all the confidence and adventure-filled hearts we had. Then 20 minutes in, where there were supposed to be the yellow eagle arrows throughout the path, the eagle abandoned us. We had very cleverly (dumbly) gone on to some other trail and had to make one big round back to eagle trail. What great start!

So we pushed on forward confident we were now adept navigators and could brave any mountain, creek or gorge. Opened up our brochure maps and made clever observations about the rocks and trees and landmarks we saw. Awesome. We trudged on, still greatly excited with all we saw. We walked through wide flat roads, narrow paths, steep rises, slow descents. There were wonderful views of the open bush. We saw a waterfall with no water (not enough rain for there to be any water. seriously). Lots of trees and greens all around, really nice air. So that was all nice and dandy.

So now, fast forward 2 hours. Bloody hell. bush, tree, hill, slope, red rock, black rock, sand. I don't give a shit anymore! It all looks the same! So we trudge along and up and down. Then there was a half hour of really narrow path, which wonderfully (would you have guess), the leaves of the plants were all pointy and prickly. So yes, for 30 minutes, we were dodging left right center, and going with constant 'ooh's and 'aah's, not from the pretty plants but getting poked by them.

Then we climbed up one bit and lo behold, finally hit another wonderful view. Could see Perth city surrounded by clouds. It really looked like a castle in the sky. Real beautiful. Then we some more big rocks and went to climb those. And again in front more big rocks. So we so had to climb those too. How often does one get distracted by big rocks that you just have to climb them? Very much always I would imagine. Rock = Climb.

Note: Rock facades may seem steeper in photograph than actually is.

Anyways, we got on this a bit, and at the end walked a long without thinking and yeah, we got kind of lost again. I saw some building in front on the next hill that sort of looked like where we started. But there was no path there. So me being all forest-smart and all, suggested, we should brave it and trudge through the bush to that building (which to be fair looked sort of near (now thinking back looks few km away)). So luckily, no one listened to me. And we did the smart (boring) thing and went back the route and found the previous yellow eagle and headed for the correct path. Then some more plodding along in the endless path. The last 2 km was tough, lots of rocky paths and tight bush ways. But finally we made it to the end! Took us about 4+ hours. I reckon we could have gotten on quicker had we been more vigilant with the map. But oh well, adventure's still and adventure, even more so when u get lost late in the evening and get a bit panicky.

So great. we all got out good and proper, tired as hell. So what do we do next? Get something to eat of course. Went to Hungry Jacks and got whoppers. So what next? Go home and rest? Oh nooooo. We went rock climbing. Because we are geniuses, we can do anything (not really). So headed for the Hangout. Obviously we weren't the only geniuses in the room. There were 2 other guys there climbing too. So yes, I could only do 4 walls before my arms gave out, to the point I lifted them up 90 degrees and they were shaking. So we stayed for a bit longer for a few more walls and headed home. Add 24 hours later and my arms still barely working properly.

Well, overall, awesome Easter. Gotten over the chocolate overdose and now actually drooling when I think of it already. Go kart not so much, maybe later when my arms don't hurt as much. Paintball was great, would absolutely go again. And bush walk, yes, probably going for another one next month. My sister suggested a 900+km walk which would take 6-8 weeks. Yes, I want a bit of adventure but no, I'm not looking to become Buddha, so I'm going to pass on that. And so, add horseback riding too. I so want to do that. Go kart, found another circuit, so probably try that one too.

Alright, back to work now. Bring on the pain, the cranial variety now...

Easter 3

3. Easter Sunday

This was a bit of a rest day, in the sense there was not much physical activity. Well, first we went to Elmar's for lunch. Huge big pork shank, which we struggled to finish, and pork ribs. Was thinking about a stein to go with it, but nooo, I need to be standing straight for the rest of the day. So decided against that.

Okay, after that we went to Margaret River Chocolate Factory. I love my choc, but I don't like dark choc (you purists can just shut up right about now, I don't care what you say. I like milk and white choc). So here, there's free samples of choc, so I just stuffed my face full of choc, lots. It was great. Then we went to get some honey from 1 farm near there. And on the way out we saw an awesome-looking cow. So took a picture of Mr. Cow.

Then we went to Freo for the Street Arts Festival. First we stopped off for some gelato. I got lemon and tropical. Real nice. Then went to a secondhand bookshop to have a look around. There wasn't any books I really wanted so didn't get anything. Then went to see some street performances. Some were pretty good, some were kinda lame. There was a mime, the guy in the picture was pretty good and a lady in pink, can't remember her name either. Then we got some crepes. By this point I was quite full already. So what happened next was pretty suicidal.

We went for more choc!!! San Churro. If you don't know what death by chocolate means, you'll know it after going to this place. We got chocolate fondue, chocolate churros, and chocolate drinks. I ordered something called Azteca. That's chocolate drink with chili and cinnamon in it. Those drinks actually came with warnings saying this is seriously thick chocolate, so be warned. We were thinking, yeah right, bring it on. And it was brought on. And I don't believe I'd say this, but I nearly puked chocolate. But was really nice, everything tasted great. Was a bit greedy and ordered too many things is all. Ah, choc heaven. Wonderful...

Easter 2

 2. Easter Saturday

We went go karting! What was even nicer was we went at about 5 pm. So we raced from daylight to sunset to dark. It was 4 4-lap races. But believe me it was quite enough. Really tiring. There's the group. Top L-R: Nic, John, Dean, Francis, Fred, Chai, Helmi.

Bottom L-R: Me, Cynthia, San Wen.

This was my 1st time going for go karting, so it was pretty scary but when we got started that all went away and just wanted to have fun. The karts were twin engine and went to about 100+ km/h, so yeah, thinking about that is pretty crazy, but when you're driving it, frankly it don't feel all that much. But few hours after I finished, I thought, that shit was nuts.

Here's the breakdown. Race 1, we were all pretty much just getting used to the driving and the track and were a bit hesitant to put our foots down all the way through the track, so yeah, was pretty alright. Though Chai spun on one of the corners I think.

Race 2, I started to get more into it and in one of the corners spun off the track onto the sand. Being a bit over enthusiastic going into the corner. Came in 2nd to last. Because after the spin, I stupidly sat there and did not know what to do. Then the guy told me just keep going. Then I did, so that kinda shook me up a bit.

Race 3, This 1 I did alright I think being a bit more conservative. I started 2nd on the grid, and finished 1st cut off the guy that was in first.

Race 4, This race was the most awesome one. I was placed 6th on the grid, Helmi 7th. At one turn he overtook me, then I went all mad crazy and dogged him down. And we were cutting up each other throughout the race. On the last lap, I braked really late on 1 of the corner and slid past him but was again a bit too hard on the accelerator and he slid past me on the 2nd to last corner. And he got past me again.

I think light people have a better advantage, the car accelerates faster. But still, good fun. Hope can get more friends to go next time. Overall, I finished 7th which was not too bad, considering I had 3 spins and 1 off the tracks, lost points from that. great fun.

So after that, went to grab some food. Actually wanted to go to Ciao Italia but they were closed for some reason so went to a Mexican place, which I never been though I passed it a gazillion times. It's just a few minutes from my house! Anyways, it's called The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, after the movie. The portion was humongous. Geez, did not know. So we ordered quite a bit and could not finish it here it is, tacos, enchiladas, etc.

Easter 1

This is a bit off from what I usually do for the blog. But here it is, because it was all great fun.

1. Paint balling on Good Friday

This was really awesome. Went to bed on Thursday night at 10 something, and picked up San Wen from the airport at 2.30 am, he just came from Malaysia for Easter holidays. Then got back home at about 3.30 am. And slept on till about 6 am. Got ready till and left at 7 am. We went on to the paintball place. Started around 9.30 am.

Well, some people would just freeze there and know not what to do when they start playing paintball. Yeah, I'm not one of those. Once the call started for the first game, I went on kamikaze mission and rushed through the center of the field and yeah, got shot in about a minute and was out of that game. Game 2, I was a bit smarter and looked around but still went through to the other side and shot at the enemy. Got 1 and the 2nd guy, I shot to his left, right and above him. And he shot me once and got me. So, had to practice better my aim. Lesson learnt. After that, pretty much got the hang of it. Next one, I sneaked off to the side, and shot off 2 people before getting killed. The one after our team dominated and were left with 7 people (it's about 15 a side by the way). Then there was one where me and several other guys volunteered to hold the fort. That was fun. Then several other games which were also fun.

Overall, it was really lots of fun. And we finished off at about 3.30 pm. Would so definitely do this again next year and hopefully can get about 40-50 people. That would be great. As you can see, no pictures. Cos we kinda all forgot to take any, seeing how awesomely fun it was.

Only took picture of one of my bruises. the next day  Ain't that bad. And it doesn't hurt all that bad either. Just very good fun.

The Road Ahead

Trust me to be melodramatic about this. In the next 2 months, I will bury myself in my research. Need to get my conference paper ready by the end of May. I will eat and breathe everything oomphlib, and speak in C++. For leisure I will read journal papers. And when I am bored I will get on writing the paper. My writing and reading and pretty much all else would just have to go to the backburner. I need this done. And well.

And so now, being the diligent person I am, I shall go to sleep.

Preloved Books and the Black and White Keys

I went to the city on Friday and was killing some time at a second hand bookshop. I never actually thought I'd see anything nice. See, I always thought 2nd hand bookshops were with old crummy books that people read before. But to my surprise, there are a whole lot of books there that are still in good conditions. And a whole bunch of hardbacks. Also, I found a whole lot of old books. In the end, pressed for time I just bought 1 book, a hardcover copy of Ivanhoe by Sir Walter Scott. I shall go back when I free and bring a large bag. Books, lovely books.

And also, just watched a documentary on Alex Stobbs. He suffers from cystic fibrosis and still has great will and determination to achieve his goals in studying music at Cambridge and is doing so now. I guess if he can do it, and I can with my writing. Just need to be more focused and persistent.

Then with the music, it actually inspired for the first time in probably 3 years, to lift the covers off my piano and play. I found I've forgotten most of the songs I've learnt before. But there came an old familiarity. The music sounded beautiful again. I remember I stopped because I felt I did not have enough time to practice and be perfect. Everything I played sounded harsh and rude, like I was butchering the pieces. But now, It sounds right. So I've started playing again. Recovering the forgotten bits of Flight of the Bumblebee by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov and I'm more than halfway through recovering my memory on that. It sounds pretty alright now. And also learning another piece by Mily Balakirev. I've just learned a line and a half. I'm a slow learner. But I love playing now. It brings peace to me, and the voices in my head quiet down. I have not had that in ages.

The Written Road

by the morbidly optimistic student

Completed the 1st draft of The Beckoning last week. Pretty pleased with that, received mixed responses from my friends, will improve upon it to really bring the point home.

Just today started writing another horror short story called Logical Relations. This one is going quite fast, in that I'm almost done with it. And it isn't that much shorter than The Beckoning which took me about a month plus. Hopefully that means I'm going faster. Anyways, Logical Relations is up to 1600 words now.

I will probably go back to Play With Me when I'm done with this. That is the first short story that I started with and have of yet, to sew it all together. All the main bits are there, just need to put the finishing touches. Considering to enter either The Beckoning or Play With Me for the AHWA competition.

Then I will perhaps look to get into working on Town for Two, ah, my fossilized gem. I shall dig more and polish you yet. My precious...

Maybe move away from horror a bit, getting me a bit nutty now.

The wobbly protrusions

by the incapable hands

I wish I have bionic arms so I can lift many things, not least of which my own body weight. Went indoor rock climbing at The Hangout last Sunday. I could only do about a third of the walls theres. My arms simply could not handle some of the more difficult out-slanted walls. More weights and pull ups at the gym I guess. I think it'd be absolutely awesome if I could have done all of it. Hopefully will be able to do more next time. Now, still licking my very sore forearms and hope they get normal soon. Typing with what must feel like the early stages of arthritis.

The Death and Birth of Dreams

One goes through life wondering what to do and either their choices in life are right or wrong. Decisions that seem very reasonable at one point might one day turn your life on its head and you find yourself wondering what just happened and what do I do now. When I was younger, I had dreams of being a professional football player. But being not very good at it, it turned to just a hobby. Then as I enjoyed music, I turned to play the piano (after quitting at a younger age) and then the guitar. I then dreamed of being a famous musician. This too I find being not a very good at, became a past time. At the time, these dreams so exciting but after a while seem so far out of reach and caused me much distress.

This was how I felt till about the end of last year, that being 2009. There came upon me a feeling of being lost and trapped in my condition. A deep sadness and sorrow came over me constantly. To dig myself out from this rut it came to me I should fine an outlet with which to express myself. With that, I began blogging and writing. I began with writing my first poem and felt so much alive after that experience. This then became such a rush for me. I found that I enjoyed writing so much so that I began writing fiction also. Ah, what wonder to create stories from thin air. I also rediscovered my love for drawing as another form of expression.

Now here I am, several months on and still enjoy doing these things. I believe this to be my calling in life. I say this because as with the previous want of being a football player and musician, I was discouraged for being not good at these things and thought mediocre is all I should be. With writing, I truly do not care if I suck or not. It is me to write, it is my expression. To take that away, would be taking away a part of me. I do not care if I am a great or horrible writer. I am a writer. This is not a dream, this is my being.

Resolution 2010

I have at this point not been to a good start. One would think to resolve their resolutions by the previous years end and plan for the year ahead. Not I, for lacking of urgency and my naturally languid manner. But better be 14 days late than never.

1. Journal paper publication

I wish for a journal paper to be published by the years end with regards to my vocation, that being mechanical engineering. This being a momentous task for me, as currently the challenges seem insurmountable. However through constant effort and Providence, there is hope that this shall come to past. I shan't think of consequence of otherwise for I invest all my being towards this. Through this too my doctorate shall be on course for completion in 3 years with due diligence.

2. Fiction writing

This is a vocation that I hope will be my ultimate path in life. Such joy I have not known till I recently decided upon writing fiction. Reading has been an undertaking of mine from an early age though the urge to write did not even enter unto me until several months past. I began my journey with much optimism and have employed upon many books to assist me in forming my techniques. It is an ongoing learning process however, and would perhaps take many years before I become sufficiently able to express myself. To achieve this end, I set out to write several short stories and perhaps 1 or 2 book-length stories before the years end. In hope, some shall be published or at the least be given constructive criticism for me to improve upon.

 These being the two foremost resolutions I set for myself. This year shall be much better than last year by the grace of God, as last year was utterly disastrous what with being out of employment for 6 months. That being the worst feeling I have ever to endure. With hope, I look forward to what will be and greet challenges with optimism and accept recognition with humility.