Saturday, January 30, 2010

The Sad Boy


                                                    graphic by *perselus


There was once a boy. His name was Harold. He did not have a happy life. His mother died giving birth to him and Harold was left with his father who was a heavy drinker. Harold was not cared for and beaten by his father often. When Harold was old enough to go to school, he would get teased by the other children because he was always bruised and wore dirty clothes. His teachers paid no attention to Harold thinking him a naughty boy and always getting into fights with other children. Harold would remain silent at school for fear of getting teased further. This however made it worse as they started calling him Harold the Dirty Dunce. After school, Harold would return home and search for what little food his father might have spared from drink. Harold would sometimes go entire days without food and this made him awfully hungry and sad. At the end of the day, often times Harold would cry himself to sleep. Other times he would be too hunger stricken to even cry. He would be awaken during the night with a heavy crash through the door and have the unpleasent chance of a hiding from his father due to whatever reason, might it be not lighting a candle for his father's return or leaving the windows openned. Harold lived a sad life and he felt himself such a miserable creature. On a very cold day in the winter of his tenth year of living, Harold put on his ragged shoes and walked onto the frozen lake. Harold found a spot of thin ice and jumped on it several times. The ice broke and Harold plummeted through into the icy cold water. He swam hard to where the ice was too hard to break through. He closed his eyes and waited for the cold to seep into his being. This was the end of Harold's sad life.


However, it was not the end Harold had hoped. His spirit had so long been sad and miserable, this weighed so heavy upon him that he was not able to move on. He wandered back to his school for he knew not what else to do. He saw the kids playing gaily. No one missed Harold. He regretted never playing with the other children and was always an outcast amongst them. Harold felt a deep sadness envelop him he burst into tears for his plight.

After the tears subsided, Harold came to realization of a strange sensation. Or rather a lack of it. For once, in a long time, he did not feel hungry. Nor did he feel pain from the bruising, nor weariness, nor afraid. Harold let out a sharp yelp and quickly covered his mouth for fear of it being inappropriate and him being teased again. He looked around and no one seemed to have heard him. He let out a little scream and looked around again. None of the children paid any attention. Harold smiled to himself and was overjoyed. He ran around screaming as he never screamed before letting out all the years of kept emotions. He circled around all the children like an aeroplane and screamed at their ears as loud as he could. He also screamed at the teacher's faces who ignored him as much. His spirits were much lifted.

With his new found freedom, Harold ran all the way back home. He found his father lying passed out on the floor having fallen off the kitchen stool. Harold knelt down beside his father. He looked at his father's wrinkled face and patchy hair, aged years beyond what it should be. Harold did not feel resentment or hate towards his father, only sadness their lives had not turned out well. Harold placed his palm across his father's heart and wished their lives could be different. He felt wetness on his own cheeks and tears rolling down his face. The teardrops fell upon his father's face. Harold shut his eyes tight squeezing out all remnants of tears and fell to hug his father tightly. He finally felt at peace, letting go of all the sorrow in his life. The tears he cried released the last of Harold's sorrowful weight and he smiled a genuine smile. For the first time of his being, Harold was happy.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Royal Headache

2: Why are you posting something when you have nothing to say?
1: Because I'm bored.
2: Why are you bored?
1: Because I have nothing to do.
2: Isn't posting a post something to do?
1: Yes, it is. But writing a post over nothing really doesn't count as doing anything.
2: Says who?
1: Says I.
2: Who made you the King of Everything Right?
1: I did. And so I am always right.
2: Then what does that make me?
1: Well if you question everything I say, then that makes you the Minister of Everything Wrong.
2: But...
1: Shut up. You talk too much.
2: But...
1: Don't argue. I'm always right.
3: Well what does that make me then.
1 & 2: Who the hell are you?
3: I don't know.
1: Well, you're a subject in the Everything Right kingdom.
2: Why don't I get a subject?
1: Because you're only a minister and you're always wrong. No one likes you.
3: Does that mean whatever I say and do is right?
1: Yes, absolutely. I as King of Everything Right says so.
3: Well, what if I say I'm king. Doesn't that make you calling me your subject wrong?
1: I guess it does. I guess you're King now. I'll have to retire my post.
2: Well what good is it to be the Minister of Everything Wrong if I'm always wrong? I want to retire too. This title is horrible.
3: You're wrong. Your title is wonderful. I the King of Everything Right says so.
1: Wait a minute.  If the Minister of Everything Wrong just said he is the Minister of Everything Wrong, does that not mean he is no longer the The Minister of Everything Wrong?
3: Well I guess it does.
2: Wonderful, I'm no longer Minister.
3: Oh, wait. You're Minister of Everything Wrong again for saying you're not Minister. There is a 30 second period for your retirement to have taken effect, you spoke too quickly.
2: You guys suck.
3: NO! We're wonderful.
1: This is too confusing. I don't know now.
3: Okay, 1. You can be Duke of Everything Unknown.
2: No, he can't! I want to be the Duke of Everything Unknown.
3: Yes, he can. and 2, you don't want to. What do you think 1?
1: I don't know...
3: There, you fit the role perfectly.
2: You guys still suck.
3: No, we're great.
1: Maybe, I'm not sure.
3: I am.
2: No you're not!
1: I don't know...

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The Death and Birth of Dreams

One goes through life wondering what to do and either their choices in life are right or wrong. Decisions that seem very reasonable at one point might one day turn your life on its head and you find yourself wondering what just happened and what do I do now. When I was younger, I had dreams of being a professional football player. But being not very good at it, it turned to just a hobby. Then as I enjoyed music, I turned to play the piano (after quitting at a younger age) and then the guitar. I then dreamed of being a famous musician. This too I find being not a very good at, became a past time. At the time, these dreams so exciting but after a while seem so far out of reach and caused me much distress.

This was how I felt till about the end of last year, that being 2009. There came upon me a feeling of being lost and trapped in my condition. A deep sadness and sorrow came over me constantly. To dig myself out from this rut it came to me I should fine an outlet with which to express myself. With that, I began blogging and writing. I began with writing my first poem and felt so much alive after that experience. This then became such a rush for me. I found that I enjoyed writing so much so that I began writing fiction also. Ah, what wonder to create stories from thin air. I also rediscovered my love for drawing as another form of expression.

Now here I am, several months on and still enjoy doing these things. I believe this to be my calling in life. I say this because as with the previous want of being a football player and musician, I was discouraged for being not good at these things and thought mediocre is all I should be. With writing, I truly do not care if I suck or not. It is me to write, it is my expression. To take that away, would be taking away a part of me. I do not care if I am a great or horrible writer. I am a writer. This is not a dream, this is my being.

Robinson Crusoe

by Daniel Defoe


Just finished reading this classic. Like some books are to be consumed in 1 sitting and 1 slowly enjoyed over a few sittings. I have actually seldom read books that are to be consumed slowly. Perhaps my excitement lead me in the past to devour books whole. But this book, I at the start did attempt to devour but found it difficult and found it much more enjoyable to read some, then sit back and contemplate a bit and read some more.

Now to the book itself. It is about the journey of Robinson Crusoe and written in the style of it being his journal, thus in the first person. He comes from a middle class family but never had the inclination to stay in England not for want to rise in stature but want of adventure. So he assigned as a sailor and was off to sea. His first voyage saw his boat capsized in a storm. He prayed to God and swore if he was saved he would return to England and be a good son. This promise was forgotten the moment he was saved by another ship. He was so ashamed of going to sea in the first place that he did not return home at all and went on living in London and came into acquaintance with some wealthy tradesman. As he was looked favorably by his new companions, they gave him financial assistance in setting to sea again.

Again he ran into complications again, the ship being taken by pirates and him taken as a slave. He remained so for a period of time and made his escape when the situation presented himself. He made his escape successfully and set up a plantation in Brazil. He was quite wealthy in this endeavor but his lively spirit again saw him enter upon an agreement with some merchants to bring back slaves from Africa. Setting off on this voyage, his ship was again lost in a heavy storm and him washed up on a desolate island. Crusoe being the sole survivor of the ship.

Crusoe was at first dismayed and saddened by his situation. But after a while began to accept his situation and looked to improve his living situation. He found a cave to stay in and with time made it comfortably habitable. He also through patience and diligence was able to plant crops and tame the goats for sustenance. The bulk of his time was spent to improve upon his living condition. During this time, he also found appreciation for his situation and gave himself to God, that everything has its reason even his seemingly horrible situation of being stuck on an island alone.

However as he got comfortable with this, there occurred an event which deeply troubled him. He found the human remains on the beach which showed the signs of a cannibalistic ritual having taken place. He was deeply fearful for his safety and lived ill at ease for some year. These rituals occurred once in maybe a year or two but he was constantly afraid for his life. So one time he saw the boats of the natives arriving on his island and resolved to do something about the situation. He saw one of the victims running for his life and shot at his pursuers and managed to kill both of them. The other natives did not pursue their missing companions and left once the ritual was done. The native being saved was so grateful for Crusoe, he swore his life to belong to Crusoe and be his loyal servant. Crusoe gave this native the name Friday for that was the day he saved him.

With that Crusoe's life became much more at ease as he had a companion to talk with and take care of his daily work and watch for potential danger. After a year or so, they stumbled again upon a group of boats coming to the island. From this, they attacked the natives and were able to save the victims again and a foreigner, a Spanish merchant. One of the natives was Friday's father and the both rejoiced at the reunion. They stayed there for one season and the Spaniard and Friday's father returned to their mainland to retrieve the rest of the Spanish merchants which survived the destruction their ship too to the island. They set off and promised to be back to the island and attempt to make for Brazil together.

It was again Crusoe and Friday alone again at the island. In that time another interesting event occurred. There came an English ship. This ship was overtaken by the crew as they mutinied. The captain and a few loyal crew members were taken prisoner and were left on the beach whilst the other mutineers explored the island. Seeing this, Crusoe and Friday rescued the captain and the loyal crew. They then with cunning and trickery was able to regain control of the English ship. They left some of the mutineers behind on the island as an act of empathy for if they were brought back to England would surely be hanged for their treacherous act. So Crusoe was able to return to England.

After this he resolved to set his finances and situation in order. With his previous plantation, he had a reasonable amount of money to live comfortably and be the sponsor of his family also. He sold his plantation and after a voyage to settle his matters made back for England. This time he went on land from Portugal and made for land through Spain, France, then a short ways across the channel. This was from fear of his bad luck out at sea. But on land he also faced upon some problems like the winter cold and wild animals during the travels. In the end he was able to make it back to England alive and well.

This book was wonderful though the ending was a bit abrupt. As I found out, there's still the sequel and a book of poems. So I shall look for that. In itself the book is wonderful and is known widely to be the first English novel (so as wiki tells me). Overall, it is great and absolutely worthy of being the classic it is.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Clarity

of perception and purpose

See no light when it is bright,
Hear white sound in silent night,
This the norm which is rife,
Living as such is such a plight.

Mind of mines of no rhymes or reasons,
Clear the clout and flow with seasons,
Inviting hope thus freeing from grievance,
Take sweet time the essence of patience.

Pray for presence any form or matter,
Content with joy, bliss and laughter,
Comparing not who lesser or greater,
Seeking such the heart irks heavier.

Last of love and all its wisdom,
Love of people and all its creation,
Bringing life, dreams and aspirations,
The enabler shall find true freedom.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Fantastic Mr. Fox


Fantastic Mr. Fox!!!! Yes, fantastic. Reviewing of movies is not what I normally do as I watch so many movies and am too lazy to review every single movie I watch. Thus this is a break from the norm. I am reviewing this movie because it is one of the most fantabulous movies I have ever watched.

This movie is based on the book by Roald Dahl. It is about well, the fantastic Mr. Fox. Mr. Fox is a chicken thief turned newspaper columnist. This switch was because his wife was pregnant and thieving was not a responsible job. But Mr. Fox being a fox and so always had an eye to go with a boom and decided to go for one last masterplan to steal from the three meanest farmers around; Boggis, Bunce and Bean. This plan brought about a change not only to the family but also the whole neighbourhood of animals.

A great movie with everything in it. Also, one point of note. The script is refreshing, witty and charming. Given it was from a children's book, one would expect the 'dumbing down' of things. This is not the case, very wonderfully written script. Also, there are so many layers of storytelling to this that I was never bored. Heck, I was smiling like an idiot at the screen for the whole movie. Watch it. It's good. Very fantastically good.



Thursday, January 14, 2010

Resolution 2010

I have at this point not been to a good start. One would think to resolve their resolutions by the previous years end and plan for the year ahead. Not I, for lacking of urgency and my naturally languid manner. But better be 14 days late than never.

1. Journal paper publication
I wish for a journal paper to be published by the years end with regards to my vocation, that being mechanical engineering. This being a momentous task for me, as currently the challenges seem insurmountable. However through constant effort and Providence, there is hope that this shall come to past. I shan't think of consequence of otherwise for I invest all my being towards this. Through this too my doctorate shall be on course for completion in 3 years with due diligence.

2. Fiction writing
This is a vocation that I hope will be my ultimate path in life. Such joy I have not known till I recently decided upon writing fiction. Reading has been an undertaking of mine from an early age though the urge to write did not even enter unto me until several months past. I began my journey with much optimism and have employed upon many books to assist me in forming my techniques. It is an ongoing learning process however, and would perhaps take many years before I become sufficiently able to express myself. To achieve this end, I set out to write several short stories and perhaps 1 or 2 book-length stories before the years end. In hope, some shall be published or at the least be given constructive criticism for me to improve upon.

 These being the two foremost resolutions I set for myself. This year shall be much better than last year by the grace of God, as last year was utterly disastrous what with being out of employment for 6 months. That being the worst feeling I have ever to endure. With hope, I look forward to what will be and greet challenges with optimism and accept recognition with humility.